Racism, Islamophobia, and ignorance, along with empathy and respect, can be found in surprising places
By Umm Ibrahim
Nov/Dec 2023
Are you hot …?
Summer in California’s Inland Empire is hot, with daily highs averaging more than 100 degrees Fahrenheit throughout the summer months. Sometimes dry heat, sometimes muggy if it’s the desert monsoon season with its sudden bursts of thunder, lightning, and heavy downpours that last just a few minutes.
One morning I came in sweating after taking my 15-minute walking break outside in the gated parking lot. On the way back to the front door, a female departmental colleague asked, “Aren’t you hot in that?” She meant, isn’t my hijab and ankle-length, flowing dress too warm? I gave my typical response, “Yes, I am warm, but it’s hot for everyone. As a Muslima, I wear loose, modest clothes. The fabrics I wear are lightweight, airy, and cover my skin. I am comfortable and don’t have to use too much sunscreen. Here, touch my dress and you’ll see.”
I held out a portion of my ample skirt so she could rub the velvety soft cotton. She agreed that the fabric was amazing and wasn’t a bad choice in the heat compared to her skintight leggings and fitted dress made from a jersey fabric that was wet with sweat by this point.
Going back to my cubicle, I met a male manager from the superintendent’s communications department. He asked if my attire was due to my having cancer. Taken aback for a moment — I don’t have cancer — I gathered my thoughts and responded, “No, I’m a Muslima and we dress modestly. However, the hat and sunglasses I wear are due to my extreme sun sensitivity and are not required by my faith. Covering the hair and body loosely with fabric is all that is required for females in Islam, and there are many different styles.”
He nodded in polite understanding and kept going. Every so often we would meet again in the hallway and nod greetings, but no more questions were raised.
Excuse me, Miss…
Contemplating the wide assortment of breakfast choices for my kids in the cereal aisle one day, I heard a sound. Coming out of my sugar-fueled reverie, I spotted a woman next to me with a smile and her mouth moving. I quickly focused on what she was saying. (You might think this is odd, but no one ever talks to me at Target, so it took a moment to understand that she wanted to have a conversation.)
She was trying to tell me how lovely my scarf was, and how she and the people from her church supported Muslims and knew we were just regular people, despite the recent news reports (This was a few days after a Muslim had bombed something, somewhere). She then told me about her study group’s initiative to bring people together from different backgrounds, their successes, goals and so on. We exchanged numbers and continued shopping in our respective aisles.
I did call her once, but the number was incorrect. I never bumped into her again.
Prayer anyone?
My friend Jennifer is a building inspector in an affluent, seaside city. She had worked her way up, starting as a contractor, to an employee, before being promoted. Having started as an outside contractor, she didn’t feel confident enough to ask for a place to pray. When she asked, she was initially told that she could pray in the closet or in the office of any manager not on-site that day. Neither option was practical. Most days she prayed in her car during her lunch break.
About a year ago, a lactation room was installed in her building. A private room with carpet, a chair, a/c and, most importantly, a lock on the door. Perfect for prayer! With no employees needing a lactation room at that time, Jennifer thought this would be a great place to pray. However, when she asked her supervisor for permission, she was directed to speak with HR. The HR rep directed her to submit a written request. After sending the email, she suddenly found the lactation room locked and “not ready for use.”
A few weeks later, a memo was circulated to all employees stating that the lactation room was now available. To gain access, an employee would need to send in a written request to HR with their requested timings for use. Upon approval, HR would open the door, or the direct supervisor would be given the key to open the door at the stated times.
Strike out for using the room as a default prayer room. Fortunately, Jennifer was promoted and moved into her own office a couple months later. She can now shut her own door and pray as she wants.
What are you wearing?
For several years I worked at a local Islamic educational institution. Women were mandated to wear hijab and loose attire: long-sleeved shirts, ankle-length skirts or dresses, knee-length tunics and/or wide pants, with minimal make-up and jewelry. The men could wear “traditional” or “Western” attire, which included short-sleeved shirts and pants. These rules applied even when staff accompanied students on field trips or attended school events outside of work hours. The female staff would be orally reprimanded or sent an email if attire was too tight, too short, or form-fitting.
Non-Muslim staff as well as janitorial and security staff were exempt from these restrictions. Free-flowing hair, short-sleeves, leggings, jewelry, and shorts were permitted. Noone was reprimanded when young male janitors came to work in the summertime with muscle shirts and knee-length shorts. Non-Muslima staff could also work with short-sleeves, shiny embellished fake nails, and cut-off pants. When regular staff commented about how the janitorial attire could give the wrong message to students. Their comments were swept aside.
At this same institution, Nora, a long-time female community member approached me to look for a job. She had volunteered frequently at the school, had a bubbly personality, and was a college student with a flexible schedule. She had completed coursework in early childhood education and had a great rapport with younger students as well as with adults. I suggested that she submit her resume immediately and apply for job openings at that time: part-time position paraprofessional or clerical work.
While she updated her resume, I put in a good word for her with the administration. After summarizing her background, they asked her name and then said she wouldn’t be a good fit. When I asked why, they replied that she wears the niqab. When I said, “So…,” I was informed that seeing a niqabi either at the front desk or in the classroom would scare potential and current parents away. And for this reason, they would never hire her, despite her qualifications.
While I never related this conversation to Nora, she seemed to know. Later, she commented that with her niqab, even though it was in non-black fabrics, Muslims didn’t want to hire her. It turned out that she had applied at several Muslim-run businesses and had always been turned down. A very sad reality.
Some wins too
While my friend Jennifer faces a wide range of challenges daily in her pioneering role as a hijabi building inspector in a conservative town, she does experience wins. In a recent ad campaign, her department used her as their star actor in a short video explaining the different processes for obtaining a building permit in their city. Photos of her have also been highlighted in city news as part of their diversity efforts and in recognition of her dedication and hard work. The Community Relations department has also included the silhouette of a hijabi in their generic montage of individuals that is now used in all city communications.
Umm Ibrahim, a long-time hijabi, lives and works in California.
All names have been changed to preserve confidentiality.
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