It is time to accept that social media can also be anti-social, and people must act on it
By Salman Siddiqui
March/April 2022
Imagine you just got home from work. Work was so busy that you ended up working through lunch. All you ate today was a granola bar and some almonds. Your supervisor went off on you
today. If he had given you a chance to explain, you could’ve let him know that he was yelling about something you had already taken care of and that wasn’t your fault in the first place.
You open the fridge and realize you haven’t had time to get groceries in a while. You grab your phone to order food. As you complete your order, you see that the estimated delivery time is two hours. Not only that, but they’ve added $5.00 for delivery plus a $4.50 service charge, and of course a tip too. You grab your keys and head out to one of the few halal restaurants in your area. You phoned ahead so that your food would be ready. When you get there, you realize they lost your order. Now you have to wait for them to make it.
As you wait, you begin to lose your patience. You pull out your phone and start to scroll through your twitter feed. You’re still waiting. You send a tweet, “Why do restaurants even take your order if they never learned to listen in elementary school?” You put your phone away.
Later that night, you check your phone. You see quite a few Twitter notifications. Dozens are already angry about your post. They comment, “Do you know how difficult the restaurant business is?” “Service workers have to put up with a lot. What’s the matter with you?” and “Everyone makes mistakes. Sorry you had to wait an extra 10 minutes.”
That’s where the internet war starts. Scores or maybe hundreds start yelling at each other. They would not behave like this in person, but once online they start forgetting their manners. It’s so easy to do this from behind a screen.
It’s not as though the values are absent. We see Islamic reminders. We’ve become proficient in giving eloquent speeches and writing beautifully worded social media posts. Everyone agrees with the concept, but how much do we apply it? When you see someone say something insensitive online, do you respond respectfully or go on the offensive? We should never shed our adab (manners) simply because we’re interacting online. People are arguing over matters of fiqh, news stories, opinions and even basic daily events. It’s rarely a healthy discussion, and too often it turns into a series of personal insults.
Abdullah bin Amr narrated: “The Prophet (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) never used derogatory language, neither a fahish (indecency) nor a mutafahish (exaggeration). He used to say, ‘The best among you are those who have the best manners and character’” (“Sahih al-Bukhari,” 3559).
Consider the following example of some comments on a recent post (identifying information blanked to protect privacy):
As you can see, the comments are neither constructive nor polite. They stimulate argument and hurt feelings. People will even resort to personal attacks.
When interacting online, we should remember our manners. For example, we can be aware of how much communication is lost through the internet. We often don’t know the relevant context, the people themselves, and where they’re coming from or the tone. How we interpret it can affect our own state of mind. As Muslims, though, we should strive to be the best of people (3:110).
Ibn Abi Mulaykah reported: Umar ibn al-Khattab said, “It is not allowed for a Muslim who hears a word from his brother to assume evil of him if he can find something good about it” (“Al-Tamhid,” 18/20).
If you have a following on social media, try to use it to promote good manners. Use your influence in a positive way by behaving with good manners. If someone offends you, stay silent. If you see something bad, say something good. Try not to call people out, for exposing their mistakes publicly often creates even more problems. Try to be understanding of the fact that there is a human being behind the post. Promote the idea of expressing your opinion in a non-confrontational manner. Social media influencers are called so because they actually do have a lot of influence.
Ibn Mas‘ud reported: The Prophet said, “Shall I not tell you of one forbidden for Hellfire or Hellfire is forbidden for him? It is everyone [who is] accessible, polite and easygoing” (“Sunan al-Tirmidhi,” 2488).
Online communication is a big part of modern life. You may communicate online on an ongoing basis with people you’ve never met in real life. This can happen socially or professionally. People make long-term friends and enemies online. They meet and even get married online through social media or apps. Mutual understanding is more important now than ever. Muslims have a responsibility to be leaders in good conduct online as well as in person.
Salman Siddiqui is a pharmacist and an aspiring writer.
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