Do You Have One Ready?
By Nayab Bashir
Nov/Dec 2024
Ornamental, protective or symbolic. Throughout a lifetime, we pursue so many different clothes. From a baby’s receiving blanket to their school outfit, from graduation robes to wedding gowns, our clothing serves as a symbol of who we are.
People judge and recognize position, prosperity, taste and culture from one’s outer garments – only for an estimated 150,000 to die every day and leave it all behind. In Islam, the millionaire and the beggar are both shrouded in two yards of white fabric, without any differentiating embellishment or qualities. No embalming and no fancy casket – just the bodies that God gave us wrapped in kaffan (shroud) returning to the soil. “Verily it is we who give life and death; and to us is the final goal” (50:43).
There is only one thing we can take with us – our deeds.
Schools and Sunday school lessons, Friday khutbas and Quran classes all skim over this verse: “Every soul will taste death. And We test you, O humanity, with good and evil as a trial, then to Us you will all be returned” (21:35).
You might be surprised to know that many Muslims don’t even own a kaffan. This indicates a blind spot in our Islamic knowledge. While there are some exceptions, the average Muslim focuses on memorizing passages, attending prayers and observing fasts and pilgrimages, but avoids the one guaranteed companion of life – death. But this understandable avoidance shouldn’t be resisted or ignored. All Muslims should know how to perform the salat al-janaza (the funeral prayer), ghusl mayyit (ritual washing of the deceased) and wrapping the kaffan.
Many North American Muslim communities are now established enough for people to live in peaceful ignorance or denial, because local mosques can take care of such matters. Some have a donation box for funerals, as well as a funeral home in the back corner, tucked out of sight – and for some, out of mind, until one sees the black hearse parked at the masjid entrance before jumma begins.
Lessons from Palestine
Recent times have given the kaffan a different significance. The genocide in Palestine is being broadcasted on social media by a few brave journalists, and the kaffan seems to have become a daily sight. It is heartbreaking to witness, however, that while the watermelon has been the sign of Palestinian resistance, the kaffan is a sign of Muslim resilience.
The brave Palestinians have shown us that this worldly life is not the end all for Muslims, but rather a temporary passing place on our way to our final home. The tawakkal (reliance on God) and faith of Palestinians carrying their loved ones is unfathomable to those giving in to this world’s temptations, for Muslims believe that the martyrs will “on the day of resurrection come with a color like the color of blood and a fragrance like the fragrance of musk” (Sahih al-Bukhari 2803, Muslim 1876).
The Israeli oppressors also frequently mock the kaffan. First, when the only aid allowed in was trucks full of kaffans; second, when videos showed the occupiers holding and tossing around shrouded dolls; and more recently in clothier Zara’s ad campaign, showcasing shrouded mannequins carried among ruins. Such mocking is futile, as the kaffan’s status is elevated even further – as a final identifier of the martyred wearer’s Muslim identity.
Technically, a kaffan serves a useful purchase. It cannot go to waste because we will all need it one day — sooner or later. Why, then, are we so resistant?
Why the Avoidance?
According to Missouri-based psychiatrist Dr. Naazia Hussain, people generally avoid things that cause them discomfort. In her experience, it’s natural that people like to tune out negative feelings. Death is associated with sadness at the very least, and at the most it can be associated with trauma and complete devastation. So, it’s easier to ignore it until we have no choice.
This avoidance, however, leads to unpreparedness, and thus when death hits a family, it can become very chaotic for those still living.
Even among Muslims, who are guided by a culture that has a clear understanding of death and a concept of an afterlife, people still struggle to think about it enough to prepare for it. In her work with patients from a broad religious, social and economic background, Hussain has found that avoiding difficult emotions doesn’t serve us; rather, facing them and preparing for different scenarios can be empowering.
“Preparation can bring a sense of peace and calm around the scary unknown,” she noted.
Sana Siddiqui (social media coordinator, CAIR Missouri; mother of two) underwent open heart surgery three months after her first child was born. After almost a year of looking forward to dressing up her baby in cute outfits, wanting family pictures and mother-daughter outings, she found herself on bedrest, unable to hold her infant daughter for an entire eight weeks.
Speaking to how it affected her outlook on life and preparing for death, she explained that “being confined to an ICU bed instills a profound awareness of the lack of control we have over life’s twists and turns. It prompts a reflection on the importance of gratitude towards the creator for every aspect of existence.”
While growing up, death was “consistently” avoided. She also has a difficult time attempting to discuss it with her own young children. Their eyes well up with tears, and she understands why her own mother never engaged in the discussion.
Her sister-in-law, however, has a kaffan hanging in her closet and considers it a constant reminder of this world’s temporary nature and of the hereafter’s eternal nature. This inspired Siddiqui to enroll in classes on how to perform ghusl and learn its immense virtues. The recent passing of a cousin close in age also prompted her to further focus on educating herself on death. The association of death and old age is the first myth she untaught herself.
Hands-On Experience
A great aid to the community comes in the form of volunteers and organizations being educated and prepared to guide the rest of us. For example, the ADAMS Center in Sterling, Va., provides information on funeral homes, informs the community of the loss, shares janaza timings and asks for duas. They assist with zakat committees for families unable to pay for a funeral and burial, as well as help coordinating ghusl, providing a kaffan and arranging salat al-janaza. ADAMS also follows up with the family after the funeral if they need any assistance.
Ehsan Beg offers hajj and umrah travel services but has been volunteering with ADAMS for 30+ years. He offers his services 24/7. “They can even call me in the middle of the night,” he said. “When someone dies, it’s not just the kaffan or the ghusl. People are just overwhelmed. They don’t know or remember anything.”
Beg receives phone calls from across the country asking for guidance. “We need to help people be better prepared. Nobody takes the initiative until something happens within their own family.”
He and his wife offer free classes through the organization, three to four times a year, on how to perform ghusl on a fake body. The entire group hears the overview together, and then men and women separate to learn the washing process. They often perform demonstrations at conventions too. “We need more classes across the nation, and we need people to learn what to do and to be prepared.”
A Muslim funeral home, if you have access to one, will provide you with everything you need. However, you cannot count on having access to one, as the number of Muslims in North America is rising faster than the number of funeral homes, with some states only having one.
Even if you live close to one, you could be out of town or state when you need to assist someone who has passed away. Being prepared, volunteering and founding such organizations should be a community priority.
In this age of information, with so much available to us through the internet, it’s easy to find out the steps of ghusl, kaffan and burying the deceased according to Islamic principles.
“But how many people actually study these things?” asked Nida Ahmad, who volunteers with the funeral arrangements for women at her mosque in a Chicago suburb. “Google can be a great resource when used carefully, but washing and shrouding a dead body is another experience. It can seem daunting at first, but I promise it gets easier.”
Given that this a volunteer position without fixed or planned hours, a pool of trained volunteers is a must so that at least a few are available when someone dies. A certain number of people isn’t needed to wash and shroud a body, but it is ideal to have a few close family members and some trained volunteers to explain the steps.
“In Islam, the modesty and privacy of an individual is kept in high regard even after a person has passed away,” Ahmad explained. “It is a very humbling experience to see how we return to our Creator. All those designer handbags, precious jewelry, fancy cars and homes are left behind.”Like everything else, kaffans are now available on Amazon, so consider getting one with your next order. Reach out to your local mosque to see if they need volunteers for these final rites. It may not be something everyone is comfortable with at first. However, it is important to understand another Muslim’s right upon us. Perhaps we have a right upon ourselves as well, not only to educate ourselves but to also prepare ourselves for our coming time.
Nayab Bashir is a literature aficionado with an English literature degree to prove it.