By Yerusalem Work

Sept/Oct 2023

Muslims believe that God tests whom He loves. We remind ourselves of this when we get a biopsy report or radiology results. However, what happens when someone is diagnosed with a mental health condition? Do we process it in the same way? Or do we brush it aside? 

Even though Muslims believe that God provides the cure to any disease, they are also taught to “tie your camel and trust God.” Even if someone considers their relationship with Allah as more important than a patient and provider, the latter should not be ignored either. Muslims do not have to choose either medical or spiritual healing. They can get the best of both. 

Mindfulness

For effective healing, one must get to the root of the clinical condition. Muslims believe they are created to worship God. Prayers bring us closer to the Creator. We are dependent on Him. He is free of need. It is through His power that we find a cure or a way to manage our symptoms. It is through His power that medications are effective. 

The Prophet Muhammad, (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) recommended the benefits of practicing small but consistent good deeds. Taking medication regularly and on time is a sign of discipline. Avoiding anything that may harm us, like drugs or alcohol, is an important step in the right direction too. People with mental health conditions may find solace in committing to routine exercise and peace in jotting thoughts in a gratitude journal. 

They can work toward longevity through incorporating excellent nutrition on a daily basis. If Muslims truly follow the sunnah and fill one-third of their stomach with good food, one-third with water, and one-third with air, they can prevent many illnesses. Rest is valuable too. The Muslim way of life includes structure and time management through five daily prayers. It offers guidance in terms of when to pray and how to physically and spiritually cleanse ourselves each day. Islam helps us stay afloat in an ocean of nonstop activity.

Meditation

“Verily, in the remembrance of God, hearts find rest.” ( Quran 13:28) 

Meditation should lead us closer to God, Who is in control of it all. Treatment that focuses on physical symptoms and not spiritual sources to genuine problems is incomplete. Behavior does not solely depend on signals from neurotransmitters. Muslims trust science, but believe science alone is not enough. To reach the summit of knowledge, we need faith too. We need an awakening. Islam is an enlightenment. It is the highest height. So, when in our lowest lows, we ought to reach for the rope of God, the Quran. We must hold onto the pearls of wisdom and hope in the Quran and the Hadith. God revealed verses about our soul’s meditation or our mind’s thoughtfulness, (tafakkur) for those who reflect on the design of creation.

˹They are those who remember God while standing, sitting, and lying on their sides, and reflect on the creation of the heavens and the earth ˹and pray˺, “Our Lord! You have not created ˹all of˺ this without purpose. Glory be to You! Protect us from the torment of the Fire (Quran 3:191)

When battling depression, mania, anxiety, psychosis, or another psychological disorder, be sure to seek professional help. But as Muslims, also remember to arm yourself with revelation and meditation. You can meditate on a verse from the Quran, repeat phrases for the purpose of dhikr (remembrance), or hold onto an image that invites peace, for example, a sunset. As a practicing Muslim, one should never feel alone.

Medication

“Mental health issues cannot be ignored and the stigma of seeking professional help, which exists in our community, should be addressed by its leaders,” said Imam Naeem Baig of Dar Al Hijrah in Falls Church, Va. The community needs more of such top-down thinking, beginning with leadership and moving toward the general population. If people go to see a medical professional for a broken leg or high blood pressure, they should not hesitate to be seen for mental issues too. 

Aneesa Abdus Salaam is one of the mentors in The Shahadah Sisterhood Group based in Washington, D.C. “Prayer is the key, however Allah has blessed medical doctors with the knowledge of how to diagnose diseases and manage symptoms,” she said. “Yes, Allah is the One who Heals. But being under professional medical care is also wise for a Muslim.”

This shows that mental health needs to be addressed in the Muslim community properly and consistently. One khutbah in a blue moon is not enough. The African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” is apt for this situation. No one should struggle with mental illness alone. 

However, the Muslim community is not a monolith. Through interviews with Muslim brothers and sisters, we can see different approaches to overcoming challenges with mental illness. 

“Taking medicine is a big drama,” said Hammad*. “Instead of relying on doctors and medicine, rely on faith and education. You have to be strong enough to trust yourself and your strengths. If you have belief in your heart, you will not experience depression. If you have faith, you will not contemplate suicide.” He also believes that men are less likely to see a therapist, and that is why they should be equipped with tools from our faith. Hammad* is not alone. There are some other Muslims who feel the same way. 

Meaningful Conversations

Mosques and Islamic centers need to invest time and funding to have meaningful conversations about the journey toward mental health. From symptoms to outcomes, from hospitalization to housing, there is still a long way to go. Some may crawl. Some may walk. Some may cry. Some may sulk. The goal is to heal together. Muslims are commanded to rejoice, to be thankful for His bounty, and to smile. Ask yourself where you find joy. If you find it in the pages of the Quran and the words of the Prophet, you will be trying your best to work on God’s Promise. 

“Thoughts turn into feelings and subsequently lead to actions,” said Asumini Kasule, Youth and Parenting Coach in Maryland. “It is important not to ruminate over every thought that comes to your mind. Let them pass like clouds. If you focus on thoughts of fear, for instance, you can give rise to anxiety. The cognitive process begins with our unconscious mind which records our thoughts in the moment. The simple truth is you can often help manage anxiety by changing your thought pattern.”

Asumini hopes many more people of faith will step up to study psychology and serve in ways that benefit wide, diverse audiences. Mental health professionals can help steer us in the right direction if we’re honest about our goals. Do not be ashamed to ask for the help you deserve. Be proactive with taking care of mental health. Reach out to a professional if needed. 

She urges Muslims to remind themselves that only God is in control of the future. “Rely on trusted professionals, and praise God for His wisdom in sending them your way.”

Yerusalem Work has a heart for interfaith dialogue. She is an award-winning essayist and bestselling author of poetry and short stories available on Amazon. She earned a master’s degree in library science and a bachelor’s degree in film studies. As an Ethiopian-American artist, educator, and librarian, she wishes everyone compassion and endless inspiration. 

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By Ahmed Shaikh

May/June 2023

In 2021, the Khalil Center, Maristan Muslim and other mental health organizations publicized a statement in the Journal of the American Medical Association Psychiatry (JAMA; 2021 Sep; 78(9): 1041–1044.) that Muslims are far more suicidal than non-Muslims or atheists. They then spread this claim throughout much of the media to raise money, especially zakat.

Upon closer inspection, this deeply unethical claim came about due to conflicts of interest and cooking numbers to get a contrived result, followed by outright fraud.

An Opinion Poll

The Institute for Social Policy and Understanding (ISPU) annual “American Muslim Poll” selects a small sample to arrive at generalized conclusions. As with all polls, there is a margin of error.

In 2019, part of the process involved the Institute of Muslim Mental Health (Dr. Hamada Altalib), the Stanford Muslim Mental Health & Islamic Psychology Lab (Dr. Rania Awaad) and the Khalil Center (Dr. Hooman Keshavarzi), who purchased questions on suicide from ISPU to be included in the survey, which focuses on Jews, Muslims and the “general population.”

They found that 7.9% of Muslims, 5.1% of Protestants, 6.1% of Catholics and 3.6% of Jews reported trying to kill themselves at some point. While this is not twice as many Muslims attempting suicide as others, it does look like Muslims in the sample attempted suicide at a higher rate. However, according to ISPU, these numbers are meaningless because the margins of error were quite large. So, comparing the groups with the largest gaps, Jews and Muslims, is actually something not worth discussing. The margin of error for the Muslim survey was ±4.9%, while for Jews it was a whopping ±7.6%.

Indeed, when ISPU first announced the results of their 2019 Muslim poll, they did not mention suicide at all, as doing so would have been pointless.

The authors of the JAMA article used another method to compare religion and suicide attempts. They compared a reference group — Protestants — to Muslims, calculating an “odds ratio.” The authors found that the numbers had a statistically insignificant p-value of 0.1. So, unless they had another way to calculate the rate of suicide among members of different religions, they were out of luck. As it happens, though, they devised a way to adjust the numbers and get headline-grabbing results.

Adjusting for Unknown Demographic Factors

The claim that Muslims were twice as likely as others to attempt suicide was the result of “adjusting for demographic factors” for which the authors had no data. They used “regression analysis” — a technique to adjust for race. This technique found that Muslims are twice as likely to attempt suicide as are non-Muslims.

In a comment and a long-form analysis, Dr. Osman Umarji (statistician and scholar, the Yaqeen Institute) made two important criticisms: (1) Since the authors started with nothing, it was inappropriate for them to perform a “regression analysis” and (2) they were doing regression analysis for non-existent variables. One of the biggest problems here was considering “Arab” as a race — a race assumed to be exclusively Muslim, which is not the case. The ISPU data that the authors worked with contained no non-Muslim Arabs, which caused a “correlation” between the groups “Muslim” and “Arab” (Dr. Umarji’s full reanalysis can be found at tinyurl.com/4n2j6buk).

Regression analysis isn’t designed to work with data that is incomplete in a way that causes a correlation. Statisticians call this effect, which is a little bit like stacking the deck, a “suppressor effect.”

Attack in Public, Agree in Private

Umarji was attacked vigorously online by the study’s authors — Awaad accused him of peddling “disinformation” and Altalib accused him of lying. The authors claimed they had three unnamed statisticians from top institutions look at the numbers, all of whom reportedly deemed the “suppressor effect” found by Umarji “baseless.”

The problem was that before the authors accused Umarji, they had privately written a response to JAMA and conceded that he did have a point about the suppressor effect: “In this sample, being Arab may be a confounder and serve as a suppressor variable. However, as we argue above, it is critical to include race in the model so that readers can see the potential effect. Our intent of publishing this Research Letter is to draw attention to an under-recognized issue and promote further discourse on suicide across communities” (emphasis added).

Elsewhere, the authors claim that a “suppressor” may be a good thing for reasons that appear hypothetical and not grounded in fact. So, they contrived a “fact” that Muslims were twice as likely as others to attempt suicide to “promote further discourse.” One would hope that the envisioned discourse would be based on facts and not fiction.

If you run an organization that advocates for the view that Muslim mental health is in horrible shape and your organization happens to offer a solution — if we send you more money — that may very well color what your research results will look like. A Muslim mental health advocacy group is unlikely to herald a study finding that Muslims attempt suicide at the same rates as everyone else or that they ran the numbers and have no idea about anything either way (leaving aside the question of who would publish such a thing).

The Incredible Shrinking P-Value

One area where the authors did push back both privately and publicly (in a public comment to the JAMA article) was the notion that it was improper for them to do a regression analysis in the first place when they started with nothing.

They claimed that they had in fact started with something — the odds ratios I told you about earlier. The odds ratios had a p-value (for probability) of 0.1 with the reference group, Protestants. Thus, the authors had only statistical noise. However, apparently to bolster their argument while attacking Umarji, they brazenly changed the p-value to 0.05 with no explanation for why an already published number was changed. In other words, they were defending their work with a fake number.

From the JAMA article with the “unadjusted odds ratio.” I point to the critical p-value, which shows no statistical significance.

“Changing the ‘p-value’ here appears to be an attempt to defend doing ‘regression analysis.’ Without the numbers needed to create something that could be published in a medical journal, they ‘tortured’ the data to make it happen. If you torture the data enough, it’ll tell you whatever you want to hear.”

Driven by Conflicts of Interest

Here is the claim (from the JAMA article) that funders had no role:

Dr. Keshavarzi and Dr. Awaad failed to disclose the obvious conflicts of interest (https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2712191). Both belong to organizations that stood to benefit from their claims.

The authors also claimed that the funders — the organizations headed by the authors themselves — of the study had no role in the “design and conduct of the study; collection, management, analysis, and interpretation of the data; preparation, review or approval of the manuscript; and the decision to submit the manuscript for publication.”

“Funding/Support: The Stanford Muslim Mental Health & Islamic Psychology Lab, the Khalil Center, and the Institute for Muslim Mental Health contributed funding to include mental health-related questions in the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding national survey. Role of the Funder/Sponsor: The funders had no role in the design and conduct of the study: collection, management, analysis, and interpretation of the data; preparation, review, or approval of the manuscript; and decision to submit the manuscript for publication. Additional Contributions: We would like to thank the support of the Institute of Muslim Mental Health, the Stanford Muslim Mental Health & Islamic Psychology Lab, and the Khalil Center.”

All three funding organizations were headed by article’s authors. In the same article, it’s clear that the authors were involved with all aspects of the study:

“Author Contributions: Dr Awaad had full access to all of the data in the study and takes responsibility for the integrity of the data and the accuracy of the data analysis. Concept and design: Awaad, Keshavarzi, Mogahed, Altalib. Acquisition, analysis, or interpretation of data: Awaad, El-Gabalawy, Jackson-Shaheed, Zia, Altalib. Drafting of the manuscript: Awaad, El-Gabalawy, Jackson-Shaheed, Zia, Keshavarzi. Critical revision of the manuscript for important intellectual content: Awaad, El-Gabalawy, Zia, Mogahed, Altalib. Statistical analysis: El-Gabalawy, Jackson-Shaheed, Zia. Obtained funding: Awaad, Altalib. Administrative, technical, or material support: Awaad, El-Gabalawy, Keshavarzi, Mogahed. Supervision: Awaad, Altalib.”

Virtually nothing about this study looks right. The claim was contrived, and much of the Muslim mental health sector comes out looking bad here.

What about Mental Health?

Awaad and the other JAMA Psychiatry paper authors produced a conclusion about Muslim Americans they could not legitimately support and then lied to support it. There should be no confusion about this.

The authors hyped this in the media and raised money, including zakat. They took full advantage of their obvious conflicts of interest, which they did not bother to disclose, slandered a Muslim scholar when they knew he was telling the truth and privately admitted as much. They then doctored the results of a p-value to make themselves look good. Our community needs to know about this, even if it means that the public will have less confidence in Muslim mental health professionals.

When we discuss the stigma surrounding mental health, it doesn’t mean that Muslims fail to seek mental health because they are ignorant. Rather, it’s because of a long history of mental health professionals using mental health as a cover for nefarious purposes, including episodes in recent history like torturing Muslims (www.nytimes.com, May 1, 2015) and Countering Violent Extremism (https://muslimjusticeleague.org/for-health-care-professionals/). Stigma comes from dishonest efforts like the Muslim suicide study.

Unfortunately, too many Muslim donors, especially zakat donors, as well as imams have been taken in by this sham.

Muslim mental health professionals can be a benefit to society. This is more likely to happen without lying and cheating.

Ahmed Shaikh is an estate planning attorney in Southern California and the co-author of “Estate Planning for the Muslim Client” (ABA Publishing, 2019). This article is adapted from his newsletter on Muslim nonprofits and leadership, which is available at ehsan.substack.com.

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By Suheir Kafri

May/June 2023

When I first started my job at the ADAMS (All-Dulles Area Muslim Society) mosque, I was very elated that I would be working with my own beloved community in Islam.

I had recently graduated with a degree in social work. However, in between graduating and getting a job, I went through an immense bout of depression, anxiety and grief. In May 2013, I sat among my fellow George Mason University graduates, waiting for my moment to walk across the stage and receive my diploma. Although I had waited for this pivotal and important moment for six years, another parallel moment held even more significance in my heart — my mother and children were in the stands, cheering me on as I started walking. She proudly held up a sign that said, “That’s my daughter!” 

I had married young and had my children. After my youngest got on the school bus, I enrolled in college. By the time I was a senior, my eldest daughter was freshman at the same college. It was a time of joy and such accomplishment. My support system included my mother, my biggest cheerleader. I would call her before every exam and ask her to pray for me.

A dialysis patient for 13 years, my mother went to her treatment center four times a week. I watched her endure her own depression after realizing what the future held for her as she waited for a kidney donor to match. Unfortunately, she never received a transplant. The doctors initially told us that without a donated kidney, she would live only another year because of other preexisting conditions. By the grace of God, she survived for longer than that.

The summer after graduation, I traveled. I made umra and visited my home country to see family and three months later, in August 2013, came back to the U.S. to begin job hunting. Six days after arriving, my mother went into cardiac arrest and returned to her Creator. I’ll never forget the grief that overtook me and the collapse of everything that was light in life. It felt as if someone had turned the lights off and I was in bleak darkness, unable to see forward or to process and function. If I didn’t have my children to care for, I think I would’ve been in a state of nonexistence and trying to hide from the world, for grief and depression had set in.

After six months, I woke up and prayed that God would remove me from this darkness. I looked for a job. The first one I saw was for a social worker at a mosque. After a few interviews, I was hired and told myself that day, “This will be my turning point! I’ll begin to utilize my skills to empower and enhance the lives of others.”

On my first day, I was instructed that some people would be asking for zakat assistance. But to my surprise, my first phone call was from a woman seeking help in reaching out to the community to get a donated kidney for her father, who had gone into kidney failure. I was immediately triggered and taken aback, because now I would have to re-enter the despair I had just recovered from. I took it as a sign that I was where God intended me to be. I promised to hold this community close to my heart, as my own pain was speaking to me through this woman. 

Determined to look deeper into my community’s issues, I greeted each client and listened to their stories. I helped them complete their applications for assistance and reveal how their hardships had begun. Knowing that I’d have to advocate for them, I began writing down my assessments of what resources they would need. 

Some of them were caretakers of their family, so earning a living and having a regular job everyday was nearly impossible. Others said they were taking care of family members with various mental health illnesses — schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation — and that leaving their loved ones without daily supervision posed a safety risk. I’d hear them clients say, “If I leave my loved one alone for the day, I’m afraid of what will happen to them while I’m working.” 

Many said they had tried to work; however, they’d lose their jobs because they had to take so much time off. This scenario was very present in the community. I’d listen to the families and caregivers saying that they felt so helpless that they’d started developing anxiety and depression. After expressing my concern about their own well-being and suggesting therapy so they’d have a safe space to process what they were experiencing, I was often surprised by their replies.

After suggesting therapy as part of a holistic wellness approach, they’d reply, “No, I’m not sick, I don’t need a therapist” or “No, I can’t see a therapist because people will say that I’m crazy.” One of the most heartbreaking comments came from a woman who’d endured depression for an extended period of time. When I suggested therapy, she said, “No, I cannot go see a therapist, although I want to, because my husband will divorce me and tell his family. They’ll think I’m crazy.”

I had to think of other ways to convince them to get the help they needed. I advised them to share the symptoms — all mental health related — they were experiencing with their primary care doctor. I thought perhaps this would lead them to seek help. But many refused this option as well.

I felt helpless. How could I help my community beat the stigma associated with mental health?

I began thinking about how I could convince them to see mental health care in a new light. One evening as I reviewed the events of my workday, it came to me. I would bring the needed care to them. I’d enable them to seek help within a familiar sanctuary: their mosque. I created a Mosque Mental Health Model and, together with the imams, collaborated on ensuring that it would incorporate spirituality and the clinical aspect of care. 

Once the model was satisfactory, I asked the local Muslim mental health professionals to contract with the mosque and take the referrals I would send. I was so humbled by all of the therapists, professional counselors, social workers, psychiatrists and psychologists who agreed to help me destigmatize mental illness and treat the community, many of whom had been struggling alone for years.

As this model went into effect in 2015, the community slowly became more comfortable with this arrangement. I watched as client after client said “Yes.” Not only did mental health professionals treat them for depression and other mental health issues, but they also treated victims of domestic violence and various traumas.

As the number of professionals grew, our work continued with specialists who could shed light on those adverse childhood experiences that lead to mental health illnesses. We continued to educate the community through seminars and workshops on such topics as depression and PTSD, especially in terms of refugees, addiction and domestic violence. Our imams played a most supportive role by speaking about mental health in their Friday sermons and expressing the importance of seeking treatment for all such ailments while utilizing spirituality and the help of mental health clinicians.

Seeking to improve our model even more, in 2018 our mosque opened its first counseling office utilizing the living room model, an approach that makes clients feel like they’re sitting in their own living room. We have coffee, tea and snacks, and they can come to the mosque and see an onsite therapist.

By 2020, as Covid took a toll on the world, our dedicated team of mental health professionals addressed the rise in depression and isolation by switching over to a telehealth model of therapy via face-to-face Zoom meetings or phone calls. Many clients told me that this continuation of service was lifesaving, as the initial pre-therapy problem was their inability to seek support within their homes.

Although the effects of Covid linger on and many families have lost loved ones, their ensuing grief and depression would have become unbearable without the mosque’s mental health professionals who reached out and kept their clients on the path to healing.

Combining spirituality and mental health treatment provides hope, and this invaluable resource should be available for every Muslim struggling with mental illness. When you enter the mosque to speak with your imam about your troubles, you should be able to walk into the next office and receive mental health care. I would say that we, as Muslims, are getting stronger in this cause. We will continue striving to destigmatize mental illness and create a better quality of life for those who reach out.

In my mosque, mental health is as important as physical and spiritual health. There is no wellness without mental wellness. “Verily, with hardship comes ease” (94:5).

Suheir Kafri, BSW, QMHP-T, is social worker at the All-Dulles Area Muslim Society, Sterling, Va. bio

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By Khalid Iqbal

May/June 2023

A few weeks ago, I woke up in a daze realizing that I had just fainted. According to my doctors, my neck muscles were too stiff to protect my head and neck. I couldn’t move, turn or rest. 

During my first night home, I realized that I’d have to sleep while sitting in a chair. As this was a recipe for sleeplessness, I soon became lost in my thoughts and allowed depression to take control of my mind — thinking negatively about my past and my future, lost opportunities, my health and life after death. 

Time passed very slowly. I was anxiously waiting for fajr and then sunrise. But it was only 2:15 a.m. — more than three hours until fajr. The night crawled by so slowly, and the sound of the clock’s second hand grew louder as everyone else fell asleep. 

Sometimes I dosed off, but as my neck tilted sideways I woke up crying with pain. The neck brace didn’t help, for the pain was so severe. The doctors gave me strong pain relievers and muscle relaxants, but it seemed that every medication had more adverse side effects. Thinking that it has to be divine punishment for my sins, I tried to remember them and ask for His mercy and blessings.

I noticed that as time passed, I began to be changing. For example, I didn’t have the energy to do anything and was always thinking negatively about myself, the future, life and others. I didn’t enjoy anything anymore, even when my wife made my favorite dishes — I took a few bites and then stopped eating. I felt tired all the time, took a long time to decide what to wear or make simple decisions. I felt worthless and guilty for my non-participation at home and and the masjid, angry and agitated. Every night I thought about death, despite my fear of it, and how my being gone would affect my family. 

Only after I told my doctor did I learn that these are signs of depression and that I needed to see a specialist. By this time, my family had realized what was happening to me. They would listen to me non-judgmentally, even for long periods of time so I could get all my thoughts and concerns off my chest, trying to reassure me and get me to have a positive outlook. This was when my wife pushed me to find a mental health professional and get proper treatment. I’m lucky that my family was always there, engaging me in positive activities. 

The World Health Organization defines mental health as a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his/her ability to cope with stress, can work productively and contribute positively to his/her community

I went to a Virginia senior home to do some political campaigning for a candidate. I met two female residents. The first one, an Indian in her 80s who sews clothes for others to make some extra money, was extremely happy to see me. She asked me to stay a bit longer so we could converse in Punjabi. She told me that she was waiting for her son and grandchildren to visit. When I asked when they had last visited her, she couldn’t remember. She showed the date in her diary — they had visited two years ago.

Although Muslims get a lot of solace from praying and connecting with God to seek His guidance and mercy, our community isn’t immune to mental health issues. Family and marriage issues top the list, along with the death of a loved one, financial difficulties, loneliness, old age and materialism. Our youth are subjected to pressure through social media, Islamophobia, peer pressure, parental divorce, social pressure to excel in their studies, wear fashion and designer clothing and so on. 

Unfortunately, most curable mental health cases go undetected because of certain ill-formed myths and misconceptions, such as people with real mental health issues are violent. Research, however, shows that these people are no more violent than the general public. Another myth is that mental health disorders are signs of weakness and personality flaws 

Labeling people with a mental health issue only causes them to hide it and allow it to worsen. I remember a 15-year-old boy with severe undetected — and therefore unaddressed — depression. His parents only realized its severity after he committed suicide. 

The second lady wanted me to take some money she had saved and put it in the mosque’s zakat box. She had put the money in a pile of plastic shopping bags, along with other stuff, so no one could break in and take it while she was sleeping or when she was out. Being over 80, it took her 5 to 15 minutes to open each bag, most of which only had $5 inside; the rest was trash. 

My wife and I visited these ladies several times. They are getting frail and losing their vision and memory. Now they no longer recognize me. One of them passed away recently. I saw her son and grandchildren at the funeral. I hope they had visited her during her lifetime. 

I related my struggle and recovery to a friend, who referred me to a course on “Mental Health First Aid” offered by Loudoun County. While attending it, I recalled my emotional struggle and negative thoughts. Every bit was true — severe anxiety and depression while struggling to sleep sitting on that chair night after night.

My family, although not trained in mental health first aid, helped me every step of the way. My wife, especially, spent so much time talking with me about positive things, giving me hope and encouraging me to talk to my primary physician. We met, and right away he referred me to a specialist. 

My recovery taught me that dealing with a mental health issue is a deeply personal process of regaining physical, spiritual, mental and emotional balance. My brother and his wife came from Pakistan to visit me. Their presence had a very positive effect on my health, especially my thinking. Our ensuing discussions inspired me to learn how to cope with my situation. We would exercise together or talk about family or other matters. They were supportive and gave me hope, recognized and highlighted my strengths, encouraged me to use them to think positively from a strength-based perspective and helped me develop my self-esteem and coping skills.

The peer support they provided was the best aspect of my recovery. Instead of thinking negatively each night, I started to sleep most of the night and began thinking about positive things. I’d look forward to getting up for tahajjud and ask God for His blessing and mercy. My wife, my brother and his wife would get up and pray together with me. That was such a serene and beautiful environment. 

After the mental health first aid course, I realized that it’s important to become familiar with and how to cope with the various aspects of mental health. We need to learn how to recognize if someone has an issue and talk with them about it in a non-judgmental way, to encourage them to seek professional help and to be there for them throughout their ordeal. This is especially important for parents of young children who sometimes have mood swings, anxiety or depression. Parents must be there for them, to talk with them nicely with love and mercy, to understand their mood(s). 

Just like knowing first aid, mental health first aid will also help support and save lives, especially of those who are depressed and commit suicide or hurt themselves. Our centers and mosques should begin conducting this type of training. 

Khalid Iqbal is founder of Rahmaa Institute, which focuses on issues related to marriage, conflict resolution, divorce, domestic violence and anger prevention. He is an author (“Anger and Domestic Violence Prevention Guide for the Muslim Community”) and speaker who has developed and teaches a comprehensive eight-hour premarital counseling course. He has been married for 50 years and has three wonderful children and ten grandchildren.

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