By Sheima Salam Sumer

Mar/Apr 25

Douglas Johnson came to Islam after his experience teaching in Palestine. Imam Suhaib Webb, Amaal Melissa Toney, and Sha’Qira Holemon couldn’t believe in the Catholic doctrine of the Trinity in which God is both one unified being, and three distinct beings. Nicole Hawkins met a Bangladeshi friend who changed her perspective. 

According to the Huffington Post, an estimated 20,000 Americans convert to Islam every year, as of 2011. That’s 20,000 Americans every year who are learning to pray, learning to read the Quran, and fasting during Ramadan. Each convert – some prefer to use the term ‘revert’ –  has their own unique story and faces their own unique challenges. Ramadan especially can be a bittersweet time as they experience the bliss of the holy month while dealing with struggles inherent to navigating their new religion and its associated traditions. 

Islamic Horizons spoke with Muslim American converts to learn more about their experiences.

Positive Interactions with Muslims Inspire Some to Convert 

Many converts come to Islam because of Muslims they meet. Douglas Johnson from Ottawa, Ill., was attracted by the good manners of the Muslims he met in Palestine. While working as a teacher there, he was impressed by the students and people’s maturity and goodness. “I felt very welcome. I was attributing it to Islam, which was right,” he said.

Nicole Hawkins from Baltimore, Md., had an online Bangladeshi friend who was Muslim. She became curious about his beliefs and so she bought a copy of the translation of the Quran. What she read made sense to her. The stories of the Prophets moved her. The biggest factor in her conversion was Islam’s teaching that life is a test. Growing up, Nicole, who lost her mother to suicide, always wondered why life was so difficult. She found the answer in Islam. “It’s because Allah puts trials and tests in our way to bring us closer to Him,” she said.

Kareem Muhammad Ali* from Traverse City, Mich., was attracted to the sincerity he saw in Muslims. As a child, he observed hypocrisy in the church. As a result, he left organized religion until he met Muslims in Michigan and learned about Islam. Like Nicole, the people and the Quran inspired him. He especially liked that the Quran is still in its original language. He began exploring mosques and meeting imams. “It was crazy clear that this felt right,” he said. “There was an absence of hypocrisy; there was one clear path. It felt like returning to a place that I could be proud of and give me some forward direction.”

Muslim Converts Resonate with the Islamic Concept of God and Prayer

Many Christians convert to Islam because of Islam’s clear concept of God. The renowned Imam Suhaib Webb from Oklahoma City, Ok., told the Deen Show he converted to Islam because the Catholic concept of the Trinity didn’t make sense to him “I just wasn’t able to digest that God could be three or one of three,” he said.

Similarly, Amaal Melissa Toney from Manhattan, N.Y. could not understand how Jesus prayed to God when he was also God. Sha’Qira Holemon from Richmond, Va., felt that the Trinity and God having a son didn’t make sense. Douglas resonated with the fact that Islam viewed Jesus as a prophet, rather than as God or the son of God.

Luke Hodel* from Mechanicsville, Va., was attracted to Islam by the five daily prayers. He was raised as “a Christmas and Easter Catholic” who went to mass only on holidays. “I liked the idea of remembrance  every day,” he said.

Finding Community and Navigating Challenges During Ramadan

Many find solace in the sense of community during Ramadan. Amaal reminisced about her Ramadan in different locales. She loves how Muslims come together to give out dates, water, and to share iftar meals. “I’ve seen it in Egypt. I’ve seen it in Georgia. I’ve seen it in South Carolina, New Jersey, and New York,” she said. “You’re gonna get that same experience no matter where you are – that sense of community, love, and giving.”

Like Amaal, Kareem experienced Ramadan in many places. Wherever he went, he always found a mosque that welcomed him. He shared that he’s always able to find a good mosque and the vibe is always “welcome my brother, let’s do this thing together.” During his first street-wide iftar in Egypt, he felt cared for. “It was incredible. I was welcomed. I didn’t need anything,” he said. 

Douglas experienced his first Ramadan in Palestine before he became Muslim. His colleague invited him to a community iftar. When he entered the cafeteria, he didn’t know what to expect. He sat in rows with Muslims who had been fasting all day. Despite not being Muslim, he felt welcomed. There was no sense of distinction between him and the Muslims. It didn’t feel strange that he was participating in a Muslim ceremony; it felt natural. “Being treated like a Muslim before I was Muslim was really special to me,” he said. 

For Kareem, suhoor (the pre-dawn meal) is one of his favorite parts of Ramadan. He enjoys waking up early and eating with people he loves. “We say al-Ḥamdu lillāh for this blessing,” he said. “We prepare for the fast and get into that rhythm. Then, when fajr happens, it’s game on.”

Kyle Bayer from Delray Beach, Fla., whose wife inspired him to convert, said he enjoys bonding and connecting at iftar dinners. “I could speak to others freely about my experience fasting and they did the same with me,” he said.

Converts Face Unique Challenges Especially During Ramadan

As strong as the sense of community is during Ramadan, new converts to the religion still deal with certain struggles. Imam Suhaib Webb recalled that he felt “terrified” during his first Ramadan. He actually hadn’t known much about fasting when he converted at the age of 20. He felt he wasn’t just converting to a new religion, but to a new community. He describes all the Muslim cultures he encountered as a “religious Times Square.” On top of that, he was constantly bombarded with questions about how and why he converted which made him uncomfortable. 

He found consolation in the hadith that Ramadan is a month of patience. He kept going to the mosque, praying tarawih (night prayers), and reading the translation of the meaning of the Quran in English, which really helped. “Alhamdulillah, man that helped me,” he said. “That first Ramadan ended up being a great blessing for me.” 

The act of fasting alone can be difficult for some  converts, especially those who are participating in Ramadan for the first time. “I struggle with it,” Douglas said. “[But] the more Muslims I have around me fasting, the easier and better it is.”

Others simply adjust. For Amaal, fasting has been easy overall, but was challenging in the past because of her anemia which she is now able to manage. Kyle fasted for the first time last Ramadan and enjoyed it. “I can’t wait to fast this upcoming Ramadan,” he said.

Sha’Qira, however, finds Ramadan to be bittersweet. Due to her medical condition, she can’t fast. She expressed that she often feels disconnected from Ramadan. To cope, she reads more Quran, listens to nasheed (Islamic songs), and prays more. She tries to go to the mosque to meet  Muslims but is often thwarted by her social anxiety. “I’m afraid of people, so it’s hard,” she said.

Fasting isn’t the only aspect of Ramadan that can be hard. 

Nicole shared that while she loves fasting because it increases her God-consciousness, Ramadan can be very lonely. Many don’t have the privilege of practicing with their families the way native-born Muslims do. She wishes more Muslims would invite converts to their homes for iftar, and that mosques had more fun activities during the month.

Finding Deeper Meaning in Ramadan

Even before Kareem officially became Muslim, he would fast in solidarity and respect with his Muslim friends. He learned about the value of fasting, being pure, and the spirit behind the practice. He learned that fasting is not just a group activity, it’s also a “solo adventure.” 

He enjoys the solo aspect of Ramadan. “Doing the iftar together is awesome,” he said. “But then I like to find my center, when it’s just me and Allah.” 

Last year, Kareem read through the Quran a few times. He says there’s always something new to catch. He listens to the Quran in Arabic as he reads it in English, following the words with his hand. To improve this practice, Kareem  is currently studying Arabic and sees a mentor regularly.

Like most Muslims, converts see Ramadan as a month to get closer to God, to purify, and to grow. “Ramadan is a month of self-reflection and a chance to become closer to Allah,” said Luke. 

For Sha’qira, Ramadan means devotion, sacrifice, and being thankful for one’s blessings. 

Amaal is especially fascinated with the Night of Power. “It’s a time when you can ask Allah and seek Laylatul Qadr [the Night of Power],” she said. “There are so many benefits in reaching it because of how many of your sins can be removed. It’s like you’re cleansing yourself.”

For Kyle, Ramadan is about commitment, mental endurance, and introspection. Fasting made him feel more grateful. “Ramadan is a special place in time that allows you to embark on self-introspection,” he shared. “It offers the questions [like] ‘Are you truly being the best version of yourself? Can you still make positive changes in your life?’”

Imam Suhaib Webb describes Ramadan as “a great opportunity to make up for mistakes made in the past and to create a new capacity to continue to grow for the future.” 

*Some names have been changed for privacy.

Sheima Salam Sumer is the author of How to be a Happy Muslim Insha’Allah (2014) and The Basic Values of Islam (2021). She is also a tutor and life coach.

The post Eight Muslim Americans Converts Share Their Ramadan Experiences appeared first on Islamic Horizons.

By Tayyaba Syed

Nov/Dec 2024

January 2025 marks a special milestone: 40 years since Shaykha Tamara Gray accepted Islam. Dr. Gray, EdD is the founder, executive director, and chief spiritual officer at Rabata. Spending time reflecting as the big day approaches, she feels that it’ll be a full-circle moment for her. As a new Muslim in the mid-1980s, she searched and yearned for ways to learn about Islam. 

“To be a Muslim woman at that time was a frustrating experience,” recalls Gray, who grew up in Minnesota and returned there in 2012, after her studies and work in Damascus, Syria. “In the ’80s, we didn’t have access to learning. The books written about Islam or Muslim women used English that was riddled with rough language and mistranslations, or the tone was derogatory. Going to the mosque was frustrating too. You didn’t feel like part of the community. Converts really struggle with culture, and I experienced that in those early years.” 

She remembers the day very clearly, standing at the corner of Grand and Snelling Avenues in St. Paul and pleading with God to send her the people and community she needed to both sustain and grow her faith. She didn’t know how much longer she could do this on her own. 

Moving to Syria

Her supplication was answered shortly thereafter – she met a woman who had studied in Syria and was willing to teach her. In one week, she had scripted 100+ pages of notes on Islamic subjects like fiqh, sirah, and tazkiya (purification of the soul). This inspired her to pursue further studies in Syria under the tutelage of more women like her first teacher.

“I met women there who had memorized the Quran, mastered the ten qiraat (methods of recitation), received certification in the books of hadith and were serious yet joyful about their faith,” she shares. 

“They had deep daily worship, were continuous learners who taught what they learned to their communities, held professional titles/careers, and simultaneously had a healthy family life. People we would call [them] ‘superwomen,’ but they are embodying the example of the Companions … 

“This is the true culture of Islam, and I am grateful to have met them and witnessed what we can be for Allah in this life. Yes, we can stretch ourselves with the abilities and blessings Allah has given us. My initial intent was to save my faith and not lose it; it quickly changed to wanting to share it with whomever I could.”

Over the next few decades, Gray did just that by advancing in her Islamic and secular studies and excelling professionally. She holds a doctorate in leadership (University of St. Thomas, ’19), a master’s degree in curriculum theory and instruction (Temple University, ’91), and has spent 20 years studying traditional and classical Islamic sciences, Quran, and Arabic in Damascus. She also worked in education for 25 years before moving into the nonprofit world.

In 2012, Gray took a temporary leave from her job and returned to the U.S. with the intention of only being away for five months (from the civil war). While she was here, some of her students arranged a tour for her to meet with North American Muslim women. In one month, she gave almost 70 talks and met hundreds of them. However, she noticed something concerning: Many of them were facing great struggles, especially with faith.

“It was like nothing had changed in the 20 years I was away,” Gray notes. “These women wanted to go to jannah but were dealing with bitterness and ignorance on how to practice their faith.”

Rabata is Born

That fall, she offered a pilot course on the Companions. Over 150 women registered for this life-changing online class. This quickly led to the inception of Rabata’s educational program Ribaat, which now offers 125 courses with 2,000+ students per semester worldwide. Rabata’s mission is to create positive cultural change through creative educational experiences for women, teenaged girls, and children. 

“It is women who carry forth culture, and a lot of what we do and offer at Rabata is what I needed when I started on this path to Allah,” says Gray. “When I came back to the U.S., I met so many women (nonverts and converts) with that same need. Rabata may just be the result of someone’s answered du‘a like Damascus was for me. I wanted to bring what I gained there and share it with women here through Rabata: give it forth and give it out. 

“As I have been doing final assessments with our most recent graduates [41 to date], they keep sharing how grateful they are. When we say we are trying to ‘create positive cultural change,’ that penetrates women’s personal lives through confidence in their faith. They tell me thanks to Rabata, they are working differently in their communities now and raising their families better.”

Gray believes that when you are a Muslim woman, you’re not talking about Islam, but living a Muslim life. According to her, we should be magnets for people to come to Allah and bring goodness wherever we are, which requires us to be intentional in everything we do and have an akhira perspective.

In June 2023, Rabata received the two-year Healthy Connections and Social Impact grant from the Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Minnesota Foundation. This opportunity provides Rabata the support to curate intergenerational programming for the state’s Muslim women to be connected to one another to reduce social isolation and, in turn, lead healthier lives. 

“We had to think outside the box,” she shares, “and get even more creative in bringing about this positive cultural change.” Rabata has organized sports and physical activities like boxing, skiing, golf, Pilates, and yoga in a safe and healthy communal environment. The yoga classes even drew an intergenerational group of women and girls to Rabata’s headquarters and cultural center (RCC) in Arden Hills, Minn., every week.

They also initiated a financial literacy program, as many local Muslim women expressed interest in learning how to manage finances compatible with their unique lifestyles and cultural choices. Rabata helped address their feelings of being alone and uninformed regarding money matters.

Not only are women bettering themselves through such educational experiences, but they are also finding community in-person and online. Rabata provided a virtual learning and spiritual platform many years before Covid-19 hit. However, during the pandemic they opened Masjid Rabata for women to gather online to worship and be together in a safe, digital space. In 2023 alone, this online masjid held 200+ gatherings; 21,000+ attendees globally throughout the year. 

“Living in Syria meant I was not online,” says Gray. “Therefore, I am not a digital native but a digital immigrant. Online teaching was so new to me, but I believed in the idea that being together virtually is still within ‘Allah’s space,’ where we can exchange knowledge, emotions, and our state of being. It is not the same as watching a video, but [is] actually ‘sitting together’ even if we are physically apart. Digital time is real time, through which we can still bring real benefit and value to our lives.”

Considering this, Gray is the resident scholar for the Ribaat Academic Institute, teaching multiple classes online and in-person. Aside from Rabata, she is also a faculty member at The Islamic Seminary of America, serves on the board of the Fiqh Council of North America, writes academic articles as a senior fellow at the Yaqeen Institute, and has authored her award-winning book “Joy Jots” (Daybreak Press, 2014) — a collection of 52 weekly essays that take the reader through a year of seasons. She has also helped translate the late Syrian scholar Dr. Samira al-Zayid’s “A Compendium of the Sources on the Prophetic Narrative” (Daybreak Press, 2018). 

Balancing it All

Among the pushbacks she has received since moving back to the U.S. is that she is “doing too much.” Aside from diligently doing the work of deen, she is married: three adult children, two grandchildren, and nearby parents and siblings. When asked how she balances everything, she mentions that it’s more about continuously recentering ourselves around God rather than trying to balance it all.

“Every week I ask myself what the big goals are that I want to reach this week,” she shares. “What am I working towards? It’s not just thinking about work but my whole life. How am I making time for my family? I like to be at my granddaughter’s soccer games and will move my schedule around if need be. It is all about improving relationships, continuing to grow and developing ourselves for Allah.”

In an era where Muslim women struggle to be recognized for their scholarship, qualifications, and seniority in Muslim spaces, it’s refreshing to find Shaykha Tamara Gray is remaining steadfast in her vision of creating a rising tide of female Muslim scholars, teachers, and community stewards in every digital and local neighborhood in the world. 

Tayyaba Syed is a multiple award-winning author, journalist, and Islamic studies teacher. She conducts literary and faith-based presentations for all ages, serves on Rabata’s board of directors, and is an elected member of her local school district’s board of education in Illinois, where she lives with her husband and three children.

The post Shaykha Tamara Gray Talks 40 Years of Being Muslim appeared first on Islamic Horizons.