By Wendy Díaz

July/August 2023

The Latino Muslim community in America is as diverse as the general body of believers who share the same soil and prayer spaces. Latin Americans represent twenty-one different countries with a myriad of races, traditions, and cultures. According to statistics from the Pew Research Center in 2017, 8% of Muslims in the U.S. identified as Latin American. This number has continued to grow, mainly because of immigration and conversion. 

Most Latin American converts to Islam are women. However, single Latinas are particularly vulnerable to harassment and exploitation. As new Muslims they are often unaware of their rights in Islam regarding marriage and family. The oppression of Latin American women, mainly converts, by Muslim men is a growing problem that needs to be addressed in our communities.

Unfortunately, the over-sexualization of Latinas on film, television, music videos, and the like has led to Latin American women, both Muslim and non-Muslim, to become seemingly easy targets for men looking for illicit sexual relationships. The media propagates the “spicy Latina” stereotype as a harmless and flattering compliment. However, it overlooks the damaging consequences of Latinas being fetishized and reduced to exotic objects.

Some Muslims then unfairly assume that Latina Muslim women are seductresses readily available for courtship and even illicit relationships. In their search for a Muslim spouse, they are used, discarded, and dismissed for not fulfilling unrealistic expectations. To fulfill lusts driven by the entertainment industry, some men go to great lengths to corner Latina Muslims with false promises of an Islamic “happily ever after.” They know their families will not accept the Latinas due to cultural differences. 

These women do not always have the assistance of Muslim family members or guardians to vet potential marriage partners. Additionally, Islamic centers may not offer adequate support to new converts in their quest for marriage. This leaves them vulnerable to abusive situations.

Women new to Islam are often unfamiliar with Islamic etiquette about intermingling between the sexes. They can be blindsided when approached by non-practicing Muslim men with evil intentions. Since Latino Muslims are still a minority, Muslim families from other cultures may be apprehensive about letting their sons or daughters pursue them for marriage.

Another challenge is that convert Latina sisters seldom have a Muslim guardian who can screen suitors effectively and conduct background checks. What transpires is that Muslim men can bypass the system of checks and balances established by the Quran and Sunnah regarding the legal aspects of Islamic marriage. A new Muslim who may not know she is entitled to a dowry, financial and emotional support may find herself in an abusive relationship. She may experience neglect, exploitation, domestic violence, and other harm.

To curtail the abuse toward Latin American Muslim men and women, mosque leaders must provide educational opportunities for their congregations to learn about the close historical ties between Islam and Latin America. Islamic centers should provide easily accessible authentic education about marital rights, roles, and responsibilities. If some community leaders help new Muslim sisters find, vet, and interview a potential spouse, many of these problems can be reduced.  

From Our Sisters’ Lips

To give Latin American Muslim women a chance to voice their concerns, a question was posed to them on social media: What is one thing you want Muslim men to know?

We received more than a hundred responses in less than two weeks. The feedback came mainly from women, however, within the comments received, Muslim men echoed some of the sick stereotypes and harassment already mentioned. They said Latinas are “spicy,” “crazy”, and “sexy.” They proceeded to gaslight women who were speaking their truth. Below, we highlight the main points that our Latina sisters made and included some of their complaints in their own words. Quotes include first names only to protect respondents from further harassment. 

Here are some issues Latina Muslims want Muslim men to know:

1.      “No, we do not want to be your secret 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife.”

Some Muslim men believe they have impunity when it comes to converts. They offer fraudulent marriage contracts, secret polygamous situations, temporary marriages, or other illicit arrangements under the guise of Islamic marriage. They do not guarantee financial support or companionship. However, one thing is clear – Latina sisters are not having it.

“We are not an exotic item to collect.” – Jessica

“Just because we reply to a comment or like your post or comment (on social media) does not mean we want you in our DMs.” – Damaris

2.      “We come in all colors and nationalities.”

Countries in Latin America have their own governments, flags, regions, and varying cultures. Indigenous nations living all over Latin America have their own tribal languages. What ties most of them together are shared languages derived from Latin like Spanish, Portuguese, and French. Their dialects are as distinct as their populations. Unfortunately, this is not common knowledge in the Muslim community, and fellow worshippers tend to group Latinos into a single category, like Mexican, Spanish, or Puerto Rican. This oversimplification can be very offensive. The only solution is education.

“Latina is not the same as Mexican.” – Nahara

“Not all Latinas speak Spanish (at all or fluently). We come in all different colors, races, backgrounds, and life experiences.” – Gia

3.      “We do not all look (or act) like J-Lo.”

Many Muslim men who harass Latina sisters are searching for their “J-Lo” (Jennifer Lopez) lookalike. The famous Puerto Rican star is an international sensation known for her acting, dance moves, singing, and voluptuous curves. Similar Latina sex symbols like Salma Hayek, Eva Mendes, Sofia Vergara, and singer Shakira have created unrealistic expectations of Latina women. When Muslim men realize that Latinas do not always fit the mold of the hypersexualized celebrities on television, they run the other way. Unfortunately, however, the damage may have already been done.

“Not all Latinas look the same. I have seen (Muslim) brothers looking for a Latina wife that looks like Sofia Vergara or Salma Hayek, but they are one in a million.” – María

“We know you are interested in us because of the stereotypes, but we’re not your fetish.” – Gia

“Just because I’m Latina doesn’t mean I know how to dance!” – Isa

4.      “We do not all come from horrible backgrounds.”

A common misconception about Latinos is that they come from poor, uneducated families. Similarly, Muslim men may believe that due to their upbringing, Latina women are hot-tempered, ill-mannered, and not “wife material.” Worse yet, they may assume they have had multiple intimate partners or that they converted because of a Muslim boyfriend. These false narratives fuel predators looking for easy targets and drive away serious potential suitors.

“There are so many different types of women in Latin America. It is not true that we are crazy and that we are always looking for a fight. I think that is a very common stereotype.” – Alejandra

“Some sisters convert to Islamic without being married to a Muslim man. Their decision to convert was not influenced by a Muslim husband.” – Francoise

5.      We deserve respect

Predators lurk on social media, matrimonial apps, or other chatting platforms and prey on new Muslim women who are vulnerable and lonely. Converts in Latin America and the U.S. are often contacted by so-called “habibis” from foreign countries who lie about their marital status. They lure women into false marriages or marriages of convenience for sex or immigration papers. To remedy this problem, our community centers must offer adequate education for our new sisters and stern warnings for men.

“We don’t need you to private message us (on social media) and save us by teaching us Islam. We also know how to study the same way you have.” – Cristina

“We are just as great as any good sister out there! In the end, we all want the same things.” – Juana

6.      The Islamic rules of marriage apply to us too.

Muslim men should show the same regard for Latina Muslims as they would for a potential spouse of their background. At minimum, they must meet their families, ask for their hand, talk to their walis, and pay them a fair dowry. Latina Muslims have fathers, brothers, and uncles that love and protect them and who deserve respect. An intercultural marriage with a Latina must be conducted the same as any other legal Islamic marriage, according to the Qur’an and Sunnah. If a Muslim man marries a Latina, he owes her the same kind of respect and treatment as recommended by the Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam).

“We are very close with our family.” – Khadijah

“We don’t belong in the kitchen 24/7.” – Esmii

“We are not fast. We know our rights.” – Lessie

7.      We deserve to learn about Islam the correct way.

Latina Muslims should be encouraged to seek Islamic knowledge. Men who seek Latina converts often want to keep them as ignorant as possible to easily manipulate them. A Muslim woman who knows her worth and her rights would not fall for any foolishness easily. She will know that a man who is interested in marriage will take appropriate steps like asking for her guardian’s contact information. Creating safe, judgment-free spaces for our new converts to learn is vital to protecting their dignity and limiting private interactions even with male religious leaders within the Islamic community centers.

“When I’m among my Muslim brothers and sisters I don’t want to be singled out as a Latina sister. I just want to be seen as a Muslimah.” – Shirley

“Be patient and understanding with those who have experienced some kind of trauma in our lives.” – Michelle 

Our beloved Prophet taught the best lessons about how women should be treated. Once, a young man approached him and asked if he could give him permission to commit adultery. The people began rebuking him, but the Prophet asked him to come close and calmly asked him, “Would you like that for your mother?” The man said no. The Prophet then said, “Neither would people like it for their mothers. Would you like that for your daughter?” The man said no. The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their daughters. Would you like that for your sister?” The man said no. The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their sisters. Would you like that for your aunts?” The man said no. The Prophet said, “Neither would people like it for their aunts.” He concluded by saying, “Then hate what Allah has hated, and love for your brother what you love for yourself” (Musnad Aḥmad, 21708).

New Muslimahs, Latina or non-Latina, deserve the same respect owed to mothers, sisters, daughters, and aunts. The Muslim community cannot boast about the rights of all women in Islam while ignoring some of the most vulnerable. One of the final lessons our Prophet taught his followers in his last sermon was to treat women kindly (Tirmidhi). He did not distinguish between black, white, Arab, non-Arab, born Muslim, or converts. In fact, most Muslims during that time were converts. Muslims in North America and beyond should heed these teachings and fear Allah, who will call the believers to account for everything they do.  

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